LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (2)

[gs9]

gnicks, you are still seriously attached to your WW and her emotional train ride. You need to get off the train and quickly. You are only hurting yourself and slowing your healing.

I'm trying to get off the train. I'm trying to detach with out closing the door on R. I have always been an all or nothing person. I either do something or don't do it. 100% or nothing. Every time I've ended a relationship, it's over and I have nothing to do with them again.

How do you detach and get off the train but still hope for R? Trying to navigate this process.

Remember, this is the woman who recently practically accused you of domestic abuse to get you out of the house. She is not thinking straight and is going to be all over the map. You cannot trust her judgement or her motives. She is looking out for herself. Do not fall for her manipulation. The tears, breakdowns, and confessions are all part of the wayward script. She might really be feeling those things temporarily, or it might just be a superb acting performance. And it's almost guaranteed that she's going to be feeling something totally different in a short time.

I get it. Thank you for the reminder. I don't trust her but I want to. I know I can't though and she is running on pure emotion right now. I am hopeful she snaps out of it.

Please try to focus on you and your beautiful daughter, who needs to have at least one stable parent - that is your job now, because your W is NOT thinking rationally. Regarding being friends with your W, I think it would be impossible at this time. I never say never, and maybe that would be an option way down the road, but don't even consider it right now. You communicate to her that friendship is not an option, and if she feels the same, good. A WS often plays the friendship card in an attempt to relieve their own guilt, and us poor LBS eagerly grab up every little morsel of attention. All it does it keep you attached and gives the WS plenty of cake.

I will not be her friend. I appreciate Sandi sharing her story and being given the opportunity to firmly state this fact to WW.

Have you spoken to an attorney yet?

I have before this last incident and I will again prior to us going to court.

Please take precautions and try to minimize time around your W. She cannot be trusted.

I have been. She went out last night. I'm going out tonight. She'll be gone for the weekend. Really trying to minimize the time around her to decrease the chance for any incidence and increase the chance for her to see/feel what she is missing. Oddly, I'm finding I don't miss her when she isn't around. I know it's bc I don't like the person she has become and I know I will not go back to an abusive R. So if she's not willing to get help I don't want to be with her or around her. I'm really in a pretty good place. She will either pursue me and the M, she'll get the help to be healthy and we will have a very healthy M or.....she will go through with the D and I will not have to deal with her BS anymore.

Hang in there, you are going to make it through this.

Thank you for the encouragement. I know I will make it through. I am trying to not make any mistakes. I know I will but I want to be sure 5 years from now I can look back and know that I never gave up and I did all I could to save the M and our family.