Let me ask a difficult question, now that you know who om is, what is it you think your wife like about him? What is she attracted to? If you want to salvage or walk is up to you, but if you want to continue to try, this is good intel.
I fail to see how that can be valuable intel, sir. I would be willing to bet that his W was feeling lonely, etc. (like all WW who make excuses for their actions) and this guy (for lack of better, more derogatory word) came along and preyed upon her. Probably told her things that made her feel good about herself. Its not so much as what was in him as to what he said. I would also imagine that over time his telling her the things she wanted to hear softened her approach to an A (unless she is a serial cheater, and then that is a whole different cat). Also, I would be willing to bet that the guy looks nothing like him - in fact, probably almost opposite. Am I close?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
MWD seems to differ from you on this (did you read DR?). The WW is getting something out of the OM she felt she wasn't getting at home. Insight into the person the WW went for can give you insight into what void they're trying to fill, what they went looking for in the first place.
I will give you an example of how this intel will help moving forward.
what my wife was getting from her friend. attention during the day. I've seen him in action and he is a texter / messager all the time. Facebook, IM, texting. he is constantly at it. clearly one of his needs is communication....guess what evidently that was something that I was not giving to my wife.
simple right, well not right now it isn't. I can't just start texting her and messaging her all day long now can I. I can start to increase my frequency a little sure, but she has to WANT to talk to me first, and right this very moment in our relationship, she is not all high on the idea (or so it would seem) as I am.
What it does, is gives me a better insight as to why she would have crossed the lines of reasonable to inappropriate. Does that make sense?
It doesn't really matter to me, what's done is done, she can and will deny even with proof in her hand, which by the way she has denied any wrongdoing.
Idk if its to protect OM or to simply keep me thinking.
But that was the nail in the coffin for me to have it confirmed.
I feel bad for my kids sake and heath at her place. She is literally acting like a teenager, on snap chat, buying alcohol, lying, going out when she doesn't have the kids, paying for everything.
SO I had a great time with my children this weekend.
I feel much better today after getting some much needed rest, I now feel I am moving forward without W, my kids are aware of the situation we are in.
I feel as though weight has been lifted finally knowing what I had suspected for over a year..
She deceived me and lied to me throughout the whole time even when we were together.. I doubted myself, she made me feel as if I was a bad person, I no longer feel that way for I know it was her doing wrong the whole time.
It felt GOOD telling her I knew about the affair and the OM and how long she had been deceiving lying along with details etc.
She tried to deny it at first but eventually shut up after much much proof.
GOD is with us friends. Keep praying, sometimes we want our W so much that GOD has to remind us to LOVE him more..
hey brother...so happy to hear about your time with the boys. It is always great and magical.
I am glad to hear that you are moving forward and feel as light as you do, that must be amazing.
Sometimes we have to let the ugly see the light my friend, by confronting her, you begin to heal and find your closure; and she can begin to heal and hopefully become a better person.
God is great my friend. Keep praying. You always have my support.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
Let me ask a difficult question, now that you know who om is, what is it you think your wife like about him? What is she attracted to? If you want to salvage or walk is up to you, but if you want to continue to try, this is good intel.
I fail to see how that can be valuable intel, sir. I would be willing to bet that his W was feeling lonely, etc. (like all WW who make excuses for their actions) and this guy (for lack of better, more derogatory word) came along and preyed upon her. Probably told her things that made her feel good about herself. Its not so much as what was in him as to what he said. I would also imagine that over time his telling her the things she wanted to hear softened her approach to an A (unless she is a serial cheater, and then that is a whole different cat). Also, I would be willing to bet that the guy looks nothing like him - in fact, probably almost opposite. Am I close?
This exactly, she was vulnerable and he took advantage, I know it takes 2 to tango but he clearly took advantage. Their fate is in GODS hands.
