i know i will get through this and i know i am just future telling, but i feel she has found some new strength in the mission of finding somewhere to move to and now she has her half of the savings all to herself. She is so focused on what she is doing with the move that i do not think she will come out of this fog for quite a while. I feel like i pushed this along. I know the results dont happen that fast but just tough to see.
I need to go back and read your story again along with the other success stories and really pay attention to the time in between move out and reconciliation. I need to get into that phase of my life.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
WAS's get a high from doing this stuff. They see getting a new place as exciting and it's going to fix all their problems. My ex-wife bought a house when she was in the process of leaving me. She looked and acted like she won the lottery. Took her six months of being alone before she was begging me to take her back. By then it was too late. I had completely detached and wasn't looking at her through my rose tinted glasses anymore.
The high doesn't last. When she finds herself sitting in her new place and it's quiet and all her friends are busy with their families, that's when it will hit her.
thorton, i really needed to hear that. it is exactly what she is doing. She is on the computer looking at furniture and decorations. Looking in stores for new things. We just moved into our current house 2 years a ago and i remember like yesterday her doing this. Now she has no one to stop her from just spending ( she has had spending problems).
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Wow. Reading this reminds me of my WW. 2 Months ago she move into a new apartment. She got the kids all excited. I could tell from them that she was excited. She was texting friends about the new apartment a month before she moved in. She has always had a spending problem as well. I know she has run up $9,000 in credit card debt in the last 3 months. I wonder how long it will be before the unlimited spending power from credit cards goes away and she comes to reality.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Wow. Common theme all over. She has about 10k in cc debt. The rent and monthly car note puts her about out of money without paying for anything else. She will burn the money we just split. I don't know what she is thinking in this regards.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Reading your situation really puts stuff I am going through in perspective. I think you are on the right path. This ring thing is really getting to me and I want to lash out and tell her I am not going any where with her with out her rings on, or as long as we are living together she should wear her rings. But all that is going to do is feed the fire of why she is leaving me.
I think you are handling her moving out and staying cool very well.
I too feel the DB pushed my W along, but from what I have read on here is that if the LBS would DB sooner then the chances for reconciliation will come sooner.
Thank you, reading your posts has inspired me so keep posting.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
Vise I know it is hard. I ma doing exactly what you said, posting in hopes others are feeling the same things or are about to go through them, or even someone has and can tell me what they did.
I agree about DB sooner, i do think if i started the real process of doing this back in April we wouldnt be at this point, but who knows, she was very confident then that things can not work just like she is now.
I am getting ready to write myself a list of everything and anything i can think of that i may want to try doing and then slowly start picking these things off. I may not stick with all of them, but i am going to try some stuff. I also know that once she is gone i am going to put my own fingerprint on some things around the house. I think she did an outstanding job with our house but i will need to make it my own once she is gone.
I will say this, it is going to be very hard if she starts to struggle to not help. I have always been that person to her, and the fact that she will have my kids makes me want to even more.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
So should be an interesting weekend. WE all are heading to in laws campground for the halloween weekends they do.We are also planning on breaking the news to the kids tonight. This is going to be the most difficult thing i have ever done, but i know i need to be a rock for them. W is going to stay and leave on saturday while we stay until sunday. Says she has things she needs to do to get ready for moving in to the new house. I completely understand that she must have a lot of things going on with that, but I am still a little shocked she is so willing to leave the kids the day after such a hard conversation that will be happeneing. Maybe she does not look at it the same as i do. maybe she is looking forward to not having the responsibilty of the children everyday.
who knows, I will keep everyone posted on how things play out.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
