"So, I plan on letting him have S that day like normal (Thanksgiving) and having son with me for our own feast on Friday. I can go to a friend's on Thanksgiving if I don't want to be alone. This is my plan, we will see....."

In that case, perhaps you could confirm your own plans with a friend for the Thursday and then if/when he asks about it you can let him know you have an invite and presume he'll spend that day with S & you'll make your own plans with S for the Friday.

Of course he may then say - oh, but we always spend it as a family? But then maybe you could say. Well, since we S that doesn't really work for me.

Hope this helps and good luck with whatever you decide xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus