Divorced by 2016

[adinva]

Yes BA, thats what i've been told too. It's not a major difference, 4 additional months for s17 and 2 additional months for s15. Theyre obviously not going to move out of my house and become financially responsible for their own rent, food, doctors appts and tuition ... I really cant imagine not helping them out.

For the sake of discussion my financial planner is considering that my living expenses as far as the kids are concerned wont decrease until 2022. H isnt opposed to the idea but disputes the amount. He thinks i'll be spending less on them than currently. i will probably save about 200/mo not having 4 seasons of lacrosse.

The discussions of kid expenses past age 18 play into what my living expenses are and therefore what support (spousal/alimony) i would need to get on my feet.

I've created a shared google doc to track all of our questions and changes to give the financial planner so i can work with h first as much as possible via email. It's slow going. So far we decided on what to do with my 15k inheritance and the $25k we owe his mom and a VAL life policy he had intended to cash out to use for helping with kids' college tuition. He has 4 more items to respond to and then i'll email him the second batch. Every discussion we have outside the planner's office saves us money. I feel like he's being really slow, but then again i was completely frozen for 3 years. I just really want to get this over with. If i end up getting any spousal support at all it'll be more than i had expected and would raise my estimation of him significantly. I thought it was dishonorable that he left, and not leaving me impoverished would mitigate that. It all remains to be seen.

I started with the easy questions, saved the more inflammatory or complicated ones for later. Weird that i'm driving the process now, but i really really want to put this divorce behind me.