You are completely right...these issues needed to be addressed and I wasn't doing it right!
That's what the EMDR was helping me with. To take the power of these old memories away so that they are just memories...not alive and present in the present!
And in fact, I think the book, "Not 'Just Friends'" will help with this too.
I told Husband that I had put it on hold at the library. I brought up my Emotional Affair. My friend's Husband and I were working together. I realized one day that our friendship was becoming something more (at least in my mind it was) and I quit my job so that I wouldn't be around him daily anymore.
That was my best solution at the time!
So...I was telling husband that I was very excited about this book as it would help me learn what the signs are. So that I never have to quit my job again! Lol. I told him that I know quitting my job wasn't an appropriate response...but I did it out of fear that I would do something I regreted. I told him this book sounds like it will help me handle this sort of situation in a much more mature fashion in the future!
He said that this sounded like a great book for women. That a man will realize he's on the slippery slope and either get off the slope...or start sliding in earnest.
By the end of our conversation, he said he was interested in reading it after I was finished with it.
So...I hope he does! There's still that one friend of his that I don't trust!
Anyway, I thought it was very cool that he made a broad statement of how no man would read this book..and then 10 minutes later told me that he wanted to read it.
Oh, and speaking of the past, he had told me after I quit my job, that he wasn't sure he'd be willing to do the same thing for us. I brought it up today and he said, "What? I would so totally do that for us!"
He said that he thought I misunderstood him in the past. I told him that I was positive I hadn't misunderstood. He responded, "Well whatever...I would quit my job TODAY if that happened."
I told him that he was such a wonderful husband and was so good at reassuring me.
