New Terrain? Or more of the same? (New thread)

[DifRent]

Hello, just checking in, looking for some feedback. Maybe from Wonka???

It's been a challenging week in many ways. Monday night I could not sleep - I was spiritually disturbed, all these crazy thoughts or visions about her, dark things, kept me awake and left me exhausted. I had an early day and unpleasant work to do all morning yesterday, in a place that just kept certain memories too much at the forefront of my mind. In the afternoon, I had a great and inspiring business call, so my mood began to shift a bit. My dear friend insisted that I have dinner with her family and spend the night at her place in their guest room. I did - had a few drinks and enjoyed the weather, and wound up sleeping surprisingly well. I woke this morning in a better mood than I have in a very long time, not exactly sure why. Had a fairly productive day, then came home, knowing I'd encounter a mostly empty house, since she was doing most of her furniture moving today.

We've been communicating on a yellow note pad. My messages have been detached, but not unkind. Sometimes they reveal my frustrations with her, but I'm friendly enough. Her messages have been extremely cold, going out of her way to distance herself. Yesterday, I noted at the end of my message that she didn't need to be so cold, what have I ever done to her? Wasn't expecting this response, but this is what she wrote back:

"I am not COLD. I respond the same way you respond to me. I take that as a sign that this is simply business for you that is why my messages are simply short and to the point. If I remember correctly, you are the one who said you were 'going dark.' So I just accepted that. Perhaps you need to take a good look at your own actions and emails and then reflect. You are not the enemy. I care for you but told me you don't need that, so I leave it there. You have NOT DONE ANYTHING TO ME so please stop saying that. Everything I do these days you paint it with a veil of negativity and animosity. Even if I wrote a one million dollars check these days to you, you will still say I'm cold and not me. Well know that I am still the same E, but unfortunately, I cannot love you the way you want me to. Stop saying things to yourself and others that I am different. I am NOT. Maybe it's your way of coping with and to cover your embarrassment that I left you. That's fine, you can use that story, if that helps!!!"

Hmm. What to make of all that? Does this warrant a response of any kind? Or should I just "stay dark?"