Calibri, I am still afraid of losing H. I still love him. I am still in love with him. I try to let go, I have let go somewhat, but I am so scared of losing him. I know intellectually that I will be ok without him, but my heart aches for him every second of the day.
I know I am grasping at reasons. H has told me from BD that his biggest reasons are the division between me and his parents and the issues with D. So I am not really grasping with those things. And his depression is real, and severe. So yes, I keep thinking if we could solve these problems there is hope. I know there is also a good chance it won't work. But if I don't try then I will always wonder what if?
What do I need to let him go? I don't know. I really don't.
