Quote:
Sorry I know I have lots of questions. I believe I read in one of your posts that you really felt a loss when you realized your H was not going to be your friend after the D. How did you realize he wasn't going to be your friend? what did he do?


No problem asking questions. Without going into too much details, my H was not one to react in anger, yell, or any of that stuff. I honestly thought he would be happy if I would let him be my friend....if I left him for OM. tired I had already said some pretty bad things, but had calmed down and made the statement (like so many other WW's) that I hoped we would remain friends. He very calmly, but confidently, told me that there would be no friendship. "We will not be divorced on the buddy-buddy system". It was no threat. I knew he meant every word! I was shocked!! I threw out a crumb and he had the nerve to refuse it? That is when I first felt a bit of reality hit me. I had known him since I was just a young teenager. And I could hardly imagine my life where he truly did not exist in the picture.

Ready for the next shocker? When I said something about leaving for a while and maybe deciding to return.....he told that once I left, there would be no coming back! I was stunned!! Second hit of reality.

Guess what? It was the first little bit of respect I felt for the man in years. Would I tell him? Oh, no. I wouldn't even admit it to myself, at first. But in my heart, I knew I did. I will never forget it as long as I live.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!