So, I guess there is more running under my surface than I realized. Was at work today and a coworker came up next to me and gave me a quick sideways hug. I burst into tears. Other than my son, I haven't been touched other than handshakes and so on in months. My reaction took me totally by surprise. Luckily it was before school started.
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Elly, I am experiencing the same thing. I think I bumped into my wife in May, I have not touched her on purpose since January. I miss the physical contact.
If my marriage doesn't end well it would not take much effort on my part to become a hermit.
Elly, I think that through this entire struggle...through all the years the need for an understanding, comforting and loving hug that went unfulfilled was the hardest thing I've dealt with. We went 2 years without that. Instead she either feigned a hug or pulled away...not at all worth it.
Where I am going with this is that I get your pain. Keep sharing those hugs with your little one.
I'm not sure if you attend church or not (sadly I do not), but maybe someone there could help with an ear for you to speak with ans a hug for comfort.
Hugs can do that to you. Anything that you've been longing for and suddenly comes upon you can do that. I heard Brene Brown say "vulnerability is the first date after your divorce" and I had to pull my car over and start bawling. Yep, grown ass man crying in his car on the side of the road because of a sentence in a podcast.
You're doing great. Keep letting the emotions come and pass, soon enough they'll find someone else to pester.
Big e-hug,
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
I agree with pigpen, when it's been so long- it feels so strange to feel another persons touch. It's a horrible, vulnerable feeling. Chin up Hun- you're doing amazing
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Hey everyone, I can't believe it's been almost a month since I last posted. I'm so sorry that I'm woefully behind on your sitches. I will try to catch up in the next few days. Things haven't been going great here (sorry, BT. I would have preferred the getaway!)
The divorce proceedings have started and my husband should be moving out around December 1st. I can't believe it's actually happening. I've been trying to do some good things for myself and my son, but in the background I am always in pain/loss.
I met with my lawyer for the first time on Monday and he thinks that my H and I should be able to file jointly which would be easier and quicker. The problem will be custody. I though 5 nights, 6 days were good in a 14 day period for my h, but he does not.
I'm lost and if one more person tells me that I'm doing amazing through this all, I think I'll yell.
Sorry for the pity party. I'm just tired physically and mentally. Most nights at least I fall dead asleep, but I really want to make the time to come on here. I do better when I'm posting on here. Less than a month until I'm a single mom.
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Elly, I'm glad you posted. The stress is there and we need to get it out.
Have you been able to keep up with expertise lately...I understand that you have a ton going on, but that may really help with dealing with the stresses of all of this.
I am glad u r able to sleep, that is a huge advantage you hold over most on this site.
One day at a time. You will take one step forward. You've been preparing for this for a long time.
Have you been going out for some u time, you need it now more than ever Treating yourself like you deserve to be.
As for custody, I don't have any words other than this...I've seen your h stepping up more for your son over last 6 months which is good, right. He is willing to fight for him, I see that as a positive for your son. It may be not optimal for you, but where custody is concerned...what is best for son is most importsnt. I hope husbands motives are genuine in all of this...if so that is a good thing. Maybe I am seeing it through my eyes where I would not accept any sort of dissolution order with anything less than 50/50 split on kids.
