Brink x 2

[Avanti]

I'm very skeptical of the Mars and Venus theories about men and k out that book but I thought a lot of it was fairly badly researched and gender essentialist rubbish.

The only bits I retain as a lot of it was a little tenuous are that females have a higher word count per day (typically) and that men cannot, I repeat, cannot multitask but women aren't good at focussing and finishing one thing off.

More so for us, because he's the nurturer and much better at hands-on-parenting and domestic work than I am, and I'm more career focused and ambitious in that area than he is.

Some might say that's through choice or circumstance rather than something different about either of you. It's a small point let's not get into a dispute over it.

I need to respond to him without smothering him.

Yes, let him sit in his cave occasionally and let him be, until he comes out and not before. He will ultimately thank you for it and be a nicer man as a result of it. I hated my W coming into my cave and asking if I was OK on the flip side though, I thought she wanted to be left alone in her cave when actually she wanted to talk something out without me trying to fix it.

Today while I was at work he texted to say he'd noticed I was looking tense and asked if I had back pain. I said I did - and I do, all the computer work is terrible for my neck and shoulders - and he said he'd give me a massage tonight if I wanted one.

I think it has been about three years since he's offered something like that without prompting.

That's someone who cares. He's watched you, thought about it and reached out. It's not something to cling onto but it's something that can and should be nurtured with a big thank you for thinking about you. But you were going to do that anyway weren't you? 😀