Thanks photoka- I always realized how much I loved him. But his main complaint that I never told him enough that I loved him. I know that my actions over this past year have been very clear as to my devotion to him (not in a begging or pursuing way - in a giving him space, validating way - almost to the point where he was the one who was able to completely detach - me? Not so much)
Thanksgiving was good. Good for kids good for family. I honestly don't know how H could say (as he did to his dad) that he has never been happier - he didn't see any of his kids - and just the day before he told me he WASN'T happy ????? I know I know it's the fog!!!!!!!!!
I just wish I could talk to him. I'd give him my "what it really means to be a man" speech. I've used it with close friends and even one of my sons when he was screwing up. Your hubby is behaving like an idiot man-child. Currently he sounds like he has the emotional maturity of a 6 year old. His new bimbo feeds that for her own personal gain.
I wish you could talk to him too!!! The few people that have nothing gets through. He actually went and spent the evening with her family after looking at an apartment for the two of them. It seems like my declaration of "get a lawyer" has happily propelled him to the next step of committing to her
Ok not to disagree but nothing anyone says is going to make him change right now. He will believe actions more than words. Think like he has been abducted by an alien spaceship.
That is my concern. Now that I have taken action to retain a lawyer that has given him confirmation that he can move on with OW. I did clearly state that I was retaining a lawyer to ensure all financial needs of kids were met. Clearly he did not hear the words cause he then went and signed a lease for an apartment so how he can pay his share for kids, house, vacation home, and university costs PLUS apartment???? But the "action" of lawyer to him meant move on?
So of course now I am second guessing myself. I do not want any of this.
Sometimes I want this all to be over, and sometimes I want things to just stay like this so it WON'T be over but most of the time I want my old H back and our life back.
That is exactly how I feel, and probably many others here.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
That is my concern. Now that I have taken action to retain a lawyer that has given him confirmation that he can move on with OW.
Somehow, you have to stop worrying about this.
Him "moving on" with OW isnt always a bad thing. The A thrives on secrecy and deceit and illicitness. Becoming a "legitimate" relationship is generally the thing that undoes the A. There's an allure to meeting in the shadows. Theres nothing sexy about going to Costco at 630 on a Saturday night to get cat food. You know what I mean?
Az is correct, jpeg...I really know how you despise the situation - but having to deal with expenses, no more fun illicit sneaking around, and your temporary spousal support? That might just take a lot of the "spice" out of the fun he's having. You know the reality created a change in my situation. Please don't second-guess yourself on this matter. You have to do what's best for you and the children since H has taken a leave of absence from his mind.
Remind yourself, too, that even if it gets all the way to D...that doesn't mean the end, either. I believe he will wake up one day. Maybe you'll be standing, maybe you won't - but the day will come when he will be aware of the damage he alone created. Me? I'm really looking forward to that day!
[/quote] Somehow, you have to stop worrying about this.
Him "moving on" with OW isnt always a bad thing. The A thrives on secrecy and deceit and illicitness. Becoming a "legitimate" relationship is generally the thing that undoes the A. There's an allure to meeting in the shadows. Theres nothing sexy about going to Costco at 630 on a Saturday night to get cat food. You know what I mean? [/quote]
Kind of hijacking here. When my H's A came to light it only seemed to make him more resolved. Not at all what I exceped.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Becky that's my H too. Now it seems he is even more committed to HER. Looking for an apartment together, planning their future. Helllooooo we are still married!!!!!!!
