If you can talk her into going, just to see if it might help you co-parent more easily (official excuse) you just might be able to communicate better, and have a great chance at saving your M.
I wouldnt do that. You can drop the name. Say youve heard good things, say you think it could help you coparent better, and leave it at that. Trying to convince her to go is going to be a waste of your breath.
It looks like a great program. I just don't think she would agree to go. The next one here is in January, and I assume everything will be final by then. In a very weird way, I think W needs to go through with this, before her eyes will be opened. I hope not, but I am afraid that is true. Pride, stubbornness or whatever. Maybe she needs to struggle with a couple months bills? See what Christmas seperated is like?
She can't find the motivation to try to "get past it". Needs the fog to lift? Hasn't felt a loss yet?
In some ways I wish it was over. One way or the other. I haven't learned yet how to let go. I believe I have too much riding on the hope she returns. Haven't found out how not to. She was my world for a long time.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
D I agree with my w would t go to that either. I wish I could get someone to convince her though. And I agree again about her having to go through this journey. She is focused. There is no stopping her right now. Even she she does struggle she will be so stubborn. I am fearful because of this. She might open her eyes but not admit it. I sure hope not but she is strong willed. Good luck.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Regardless of what she will do, you still have to move on. The old M is gone, isn't coming back, and you don't really want it back cause for whatever reasons and combination of both your efforts, it's brought you here.
If you can move forward and detach, if she comes back you will be ready. If she doesn't come back, you will be ready. That doesn't mean you're not going to mourn and grieve right now. But you're going to do the mental work necessary to maintain your own perspective, control, and composure.
I thought today of apologizing for last night's conversation, but I held back. I should have handled it all better, but I was trying to stand up for my kids. I don't understand how she can't see what she is doing to them, and I mentioned that to her last night. She asked of I thought she should just stay in it for the kids, and I told her no. Only be with me if you want to be with me.
I also told her that someday she would see what she has done. But it may be too late to fix it then.
Truth darts, jabs, venting? Maybe all the above?
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Tl2, when she was saying to do it for the kids, I think she was insinuating that she is miserable. Which, she never showed it or wanted to talk about it. I want her to want to be with me, whatever gets her to that point is ok. As long as she is happy being with me, I would be happy with it.
Don't want it to be forced, and her be resentful
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
