Where to begin? Part 2

[Dawgs]

I am not sure I am at the state of filing now. We have another couples session next week and maybe then her reactions/answers will give me a better picture, if that is even possible.

So, I just got back from my own counseling session (who sees us separately and as a couple), which went very well but also left a lot of questions, too. I really like this counselor because she tells me like it is but also gives great advice.

Some of today's stuff:
*I really think we got to the root of why I am been so pushy/clingy... It all stems from childhood. Imagine that. Sigh.
*We also discussed the book "Codependent No More" which I borrowed from her. Good stuff.
*She told me that since I want this marriage to work, to stay the present course. We discussed this course at length and it almost mirrored the DB techniques from here. Seems that the stuff I have been doing is being noticed.
There were also a lot of unanswered questions that arose in our session:
*Last week in our couples session, the counselor (she also sees us independently and is mine, too) suggested a time frame in during our separation to sort of see where we are - like 6 months or so. My W, when asked if she agreed, really looked like a deer in headlights. She literally was dumbfounded and couldn't answer (reminded me of when I confronted her about the EA by waking her up so she couldn't form an answer). The counselor was perplexed. She thought maybe the W could possibly just be set on D and trying to let me down gradually.
*The counselor also said (during our couples session) that during our separation - since we are still married and "working" on us - that we shouldn't see other people. I agreed but it almost seemed as if the W slightly balked a little. We discussed that...
*She asked if the W was easily persuaded - she is EASILY (but not by me now)
*We discussed a little about me finding the receipt which showed her "toys" being shipped to a friends house. The counselor stated that since the receipt wasn't really hidden in the drawer, it may have been done purposely for one of two reasons: 1) Trying to trap me into saying something and then accusing me of snooping so that she could have an excuse of being done with it and filing; or 2) Putting it where she did was sort of an unconscious way to letting me down. Her question was "If it isn't one of two reasons, then why didn't she just throw it away at the friend's house?" Interesting indeed.
*We also discussed that friend to which the "toys" were delivered. A lot of questions there. She took particular interest that the week of our session (3 weeks ago) where the W said she was filing, that the W picked the same friend up and brought her to our house to watch the kids and then drove her back to her house, some 20 miles away. The counselor suggested that sounded very odd and that there may even be something going on. Especially, since a few months ago my MIL called the W and asked if she was a lesbian...OUT OF THE BLUE. However, the counselor has a plan to deal with that which will leave me out of the discovery method if in fact there is something shady going on.

Thats as much as I can remember off the top of my head for now.