NDY (or anyone who can give advice on this) - you wrote:
Quote:
This shouldn't matter. If your W is pushing for 80% but you want 50% of the kids time then this will also be decided in court for what's best for the children. And no, the courts's don't automatically award custody to the woman. Those days are over. The reason it appears that way is that many men don't contest the custody orders.
Here is my situation. Let's say my W goes ahead and files for D. I (I live in the US) am the primary caregiver by far due to my wife's job, meaning that I get them up, get them ready, and take them to school every day (and have since they were born); pick them up from school; take them to after school functions; feed them; etc. She usually gets home and only has an hour or so with them at night before bedtime. Also, she will be moving to her new base in another state in a couple of months - meaning that she will be coming home only on the weekends to see them - so, in reality I will be the lone parent for the next 2 years or so until she retires (she refuses the idea of all of us moving).
So, she has also stated that I can keep the house (due to my giving up my career when we got married and moving around the country, I don't make all that much now) and she would continue to pay for it until retirement and then we would work out a deal to where she would pay half (She wants the kids to grow up in the house). She also told me that I could have primary custody but if I got the crazy about the kids she would "get nasty as I make it and take them." Also, I wonder if her mental state would play into the decision. There is no way she could get more than 50%, is there?
Have you spoken to a lawyer?
Might be best to get this all in writing as soon as possible.
Here is the thing about it all, if you can both agree and get it in writing then it does not matter what the laws are.
And IMHO the sooner it gets done the better the deal can be for you. The longer it drags on the more entitled she will feel and the worse deal you will get. It kind of goes against DB'ing but it I beleieve that protecting yourself is the most important thing here.
