Thank you Py, I have texted exactly as you have written. This really suks, considering the progress I have made, now dreading the next few weeks/ holiday. My mind is so unsettled today. I can feel my anxiety coming back, this has been in check for a while now.
We have to stay strong, Py, NDY, Huddy. Our spouses just do not seems to understand the destruction they have caused, their selfishness defies belief. If you asked me a few months ago, I would of protected him. Now, I am sad to see this person whom I don't know.
Oh NO!! not again, don't go backwards again on this re-return to ground zero. go back as a single woman. Keep this mindset. have NO expectations of HOW you might change his mind, or monitor this. IF it does happen, IF IF IF, you won't miss it so don't worry about that.
In my case, I don't even want this anymore. i MIGHT entertain the idea fro my kids sake, but really in the past year she has made it abundantly clear that we don't even share the same values in life and I can't see such a fundamental disparity being overcome. the LOVE spectacles are well and truly removed and what is left to make me want to start again with her - IDK.
i fell in love with her too quickly it seems and what I mistook for compatibility was really just her personal chameleon characteristic to adopt the values etc of whoever she is with. For e.g. now she thinks it is OK to lie, on an affidavit no less. Her combination of words absolutely reeks of the Ukranian Aunty ATM, one of many countries where people grow up learning that you HAVE to take advantage at every turn and lieingto the authorities is just par for the course. I have family in war torn, secret police, poverty stricken states so this is not simply media influenced rhetoric.
Anyway - you - go back single, over it, do your own thing. Talk directly to your adult son to organise visits - your STBX has nothing to do with it anymore.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
