Yeah it's tough to be sure. You're doing pretty well with it though.
The way I have tried to look at it with my W: I don't like the way she acts...don't like the alien, don't like seeing the bad stuff. The problem is, the alien is, in a lot of ways, part of the person she has been hiding from me and others. And that's been a particular kind of hell for her even though it was her choice. The fact that she's let the alien out of her cage could, in some ways, be seen as a good thing...because it's the reality, however ugly.
And there's no moving forward if everyone is not playing honestly in the real world anyway.
I know that going on as things were before...well, I don't want her to live in a private hell that she's created for herself for the sake of the marriage. I want her to come out of that cage and get help, and stand by and give her the space she needs to work her issues out and come back to the M if it's real, and honest.
The problem is, it might mean she decides not to go forward with me...which of course I don't like at all. But there's no going back, either.
