I appreciate you sharing that information with us. To me, it sounds as if her guilt over the abortion is eating at her. I think she blames you b/c she can't take responsibility for a decision that was equally hers. (Was it equally her decision, or did you persuade her).

Sometimes we simply cannot stop people from feeling the way they do. Especially when it is anger, resentment, blaming, etc. This must have been tripled your own sorrow when she began blaming you, and maybe caused you to question yourself, IDK. Did she blame you for her getting an abortion, or just for not being with her the entire day? She could be saying one, but mean another (as we women are known to do).

Are you certain the A started within weeks of the abortion?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!