I read this all last night on my phone … I simply said a prayer and was thinking about your sitch a bit.
Your sitch has always made me scratch my head as there truly seems to be not one sniff of an OW whereas look around this forum and its pretty much the norm. This got me thinking, in my sitch deep down I felt “If only OM would get out of the way I could fix this” … much of my focus was on OM …. You do not have that target or anyone to cast some frustration towards except your H for just being scrambled in the head. At first I used to think you were one of the lucky ones but as I went through my own stuff and realized OM had nothing to do with this MLC thing I wasted energy focused on him your sitch I can see how much more frustrated I might get wanting to shake them out of it screaming “wake up wake up already”
I think job hit it and I have felt the same … your H is not going to hit bottom as he is cake eating … he gets to camp out in his Mancave and peek out and spend time with you all as he decides…. I heard a sermon talking about a visual and it applies here… it’s a Circus act, the performer has one foot on one horse and the other on the second horse. As long as those two horses stay relatively close together he can pull it off (Cake Eat) but if those horses start to separate a bit he will have to figure out quickly which one he will jump on and ride out of the tent. For those of us in this position we might foolishly believe we can get the horses to split and force their hand to ride the ‘good’ horse but we must realize they are in no shape to make this choice … not until they start to see what they chance to lose. I agree with job, you will have to distance yourself a bit here … he will have to FEEL this … I know for my W this was the case … truth be told its still not sunshine and rainbows .. she is still cooking, just know this will take some time and its really in your hands how long you want to try to ride this out, maybe its actually us on the 2 horses eh?
