have i been making mistakes too long part 6

[tkdmme]

Thank you all for the replies. I am feeling a little better today. From time to time the reality of the sitch comes over me like a wave and it is overwhelming. I start thinking of everything at once and my mind cant process it fast enough.

I would never hurt myself but at times, when the wave comes over me, its almost soothing to think of suicide. My family would be devastated and yes this is the most selfish act imaginable.

Cali, I also come from a culture where men never talk about emotion or feelings. When I think of my grandfather, I cant ever remember him showing any emotion. I wish I could be more like that. My dad never showed any emotion until recently when he was diagnosed with cancer. Its weird to see him this way.

Anyway, Thank you all for listening and not judging my irrational thoughts.