Be friendly without over doing it. Respond nicely to her when she talks to you but don't initiate lots of friendly conversations with her either.
The sweet spot for me in my sitch was when I was friendly when she reached out to me but I "acted as if" I was busy and didn't have a lot of time for drawn out conversations. I would be nice and crack a joke or two and then tell her I had to run.
I wanted to be mysterious, and not in a "I found another girl" way. But in a way that translated to I was becoming adventurous (think Bear Grylls). And I wouldn't give her too many details. I wanted her to wonder about me when I was gone.
You are still living with w, correct? You will need adjust accordingly and find your sweet spot.
Yes sir, we still live together. That is, we will until December. Odd thing, she hasn't even gotten her apartment yet (so she says) at her next duty station and she leaves in roughly two months. Kind of makes me wonder.
I am trying hard to behave like you, but in my situation, its pretty hard to do. Here is another question - given my W's mental state and her seemingly need for attention and acceptance, does the whole detaching and not showing attention and the like just validate her feelings of moving on? Remember how her walls are, and she made a comment some months ago - when I sort of went all detached - about how me not really talking sort of reinforced her alone feelings and all. I can understand how detachment would work in a more normal woman, but with my W's past playing into how her mind works it almost seems counter intuitive. Who knows. But it almost seems at times as if being friendly is playing into her mindset about moving on and just friendzoning me...
This may seem odd, but sometimes the detachment seems to really be taking hold and its almost as if I am in a "whatever" happens mode. I mean, I want this marriage to work more than anything and love my W more than life itself, but it just seems that at times that "whatever" mode kicks in. Does that make sense?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
