Six to Nine

[lost18]

Gosh, I've been gone (more than) a few days and am way behind.

First I wanted to give you the advice my DB coach gave me when it came to sending a letter, not sure if you are still getting coaching but mine gave me tips on a last resort letter. As I looked thru my notes I have to admit I'm a little confused (lol) but maybe you can decipher it.

I know that you are done with our R and have moved on. I would like to share with you thoughts and feelings I have re: things I did that were hurtful to you and our R.
-list of complaints
-what she has told you and what you think
-let her know you get it, no justification
For all the above I ask for your forgiveness. (optional: if you think this is manipulation it isn't)

Despite how unhappy you've been in our R your x yrs commitment has been remarkable.

As I said to you b4 I don't think D was the answer to our problems none the less I respect you enough to let you go as that was your choice.

As painful and difficult as this sitch has been, the blessing in disguise is that it's leading me to who I want to be either alone or in a future R.

Plz do not reply.

You are obviously at a different point in your R than I was/am and would have to adjust it to fit you. Just some thoughts if you do decide to send a letter. I hope the letter you wrote gave you some release but don't think you should send it.

Ok, next, on the parenting plan. Maybe it's time you call her out on it and force the issue (somewhat). Why should you be held accountable by her on something she is not holding herself accountable for?

As for the kidney, I agree with Vapo, this is a decision you will have to make for yourself. Good you asked the Doc about possibly donating to your children. For what it's worth I think your reason for wanting to give her your kidney are more true to who you are (kind, loving, giving man) than your reasons against (why should I give her my kidney when she doesn't love me/hurt me). This isn't something to be taken lightly however and you have to do what is right for you, and you alone.

lost