Am not sure where I belong now

[Zues126]

Thanks guys. This stopped being specific long ago.

Grl, in my mind you are a LBS. For all the reasons you said. I wasn't challenging you, only the reactions that I interpreted were advice that saying your H was unworthy to be in a marriage with you.

Tlr, I love your last post.

To all, I am not suggesting that anger isn't damaging or a problem. Only that divorce, too, is damaging and a problem. One that should be considered an act of destruction falling short only of murder. Something that should be read about in newspapers, not seen recurring in our lives. Something that should be considered a monstrosity, not a solution to an unresolved domestic challenge.

I read these exchanges to my best friend last night and he literally snorted when I read this. He agreed 100%. Said that he's had his eruptions and tirades where his W was probably very uncomfortable and a bit freaked, but that she knew he would never hurt her, and that she was easier on him than he was himself. Since then he's worked really hard on it, it was probably a few times in ten years. I don't think he's had any repeats in the last 2-3 years, and he's still working on it. But he agreed that this was pretty normal. Not ok. But normal.

I find it odd that 2/2 of the people I read these threads to agree with me, vs. 0 on the boards. Either I pick friends that are afraid of me, don't want to rock the boat, or are bad people, or the people that read the forums are just a different breed. Personally I think that the problem is that the word 'abuse' is such a trigger these days that once a woman uses it anyone that questions her is even worse than the abuser. Everyone is scared to say something about how this is getting carried away because then they'll be the next person lynched! Either way, I appreciate you guys hearing me out.

I think all of you are exceptional people, doing your best in a horrible sitch. Tlr, I hope someday your W both realizes you're a rare man, and that you deserve better every bit as much as she did. Grl, I hope you keep finding detachment and peace. Take care gang.