Oh, NDY, what a sweet (and encouraging) thing to say. Thank you.
Isittoolate, have you had your testeostom checked by a doctor? A lot of women just expect the man to be more aggressive about sex. If your testeostom level is low, it affects your drive, passion, and spontaneity. Plus, I would think that your W's expectations could be felt as pressure for you.
Why not talk to your doctor about your sexual history and ask him to run a test. While you are at it, ask for some mild sleeping pillis. No sleep only makes it worse while dealing with a WAW.
Has her sexual appetite changed, or is pretty much the same as always? I was just a kid when I married, and as I matured I wanted my H to be more agressive and passionate in our love making. Secretly, I wanted to know how it felt to be completely ravished in a moment of intense passion. (Guess I read too many romance novels).
Your W has been very open about what she wants, which a lot of women are like me and feel if they tell the man.....then it won't be authentic when he does it. So, at least you know what she desires.
Next question, does she still want sex although she's made it clear she is through with the M?
A couple of notes about your goals. Three out of four are about something your W will do. We can't set goals for another person, so are you saying that you have reached your goal whenever you hear these things or see these actions from her? If so, then how do you plan to work toward that accomplishment?
MC does no good when the W is not willing to save the M. It just causes her to want to get out faster b/c of the pressure she feels.
The action with the kids are wonderful. Be sure you are not doing it to impress your W, but genuinely to improve your R with the kids.
I want to suggest you set goals that are more focused on you. Have some goals that will turn into a lifelong change for you. Some people tend to quit, once they reach their goal. I wonder if that was part of the problem when you were reconciling with your W? It happens a lot, especially to me, b/c they have their eye on just getting the W back. It needs to carry him further.
I hope you will post often. People tend to become discouraged when a newcomer doesn't post regularly.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
