She Wants Me to Leave....3rd Time in 4 Years

[NDY]

I dont think there is an EA or PA, there is no evidence of one and she has an extremely busy life around me. She is very honest and loyal and desparately doesn't want to hurt me or our boys.

Yip, mine too and while I was supporting her busy life she was in full blown A.

She just wants to be happy and to quote her 'is sick of making everyone else happy (me and the boys) at her expense

Ditto

I was suspicious back in 2012, checking her phone etc, but found no evidence other than my paranoia.

I have an open mind about it and will keep my eyes open for signs/evidence.

For me the evidence was right there in front of me but I just "couldn't believe my W would do that". But she did.

I think we have a classic sex starved marriage with a real inability to express our feelings to each other(for fear of hurting the other). To quote one of the books: a sexless, non communicative M is toxic.

My primary LL is Quality Time, Hers is Physical Touch....neither of us has been getting our primary LL or GIVING a primary LL to our partner.
We just complain we are not getting our LL....complaints and no action - at least on my part

Perhaps, I don't know but there is always more to it than a single thing.