Zues, if I had read any of the books I had read now, I would have done things differently. But I didn't. And there is no point for me beating myself up over that because I can't turn back time.
I had actually wanted to try out separation, but I sought the wrong advice, and made the mistake of filing for a divorce, instead of a separation. However, I wonder if this point is moot, because XH's affair seems to have started way before this. In fact, sometimes I wonder if his outburst was a way to make me to file the divorce just so he didn't have to.
The OW is not young and she is running out of time. She is pressuring XH. When did the pressure begin?
When I was not running around like a headless chicken, crying, pursuing, and pleading, I was actually quite sane. Instinctively, I acknowledged where XH was coming from, and I actually told him that I acknowledged my faults and I was willing to change myself for the better.
But and this is the big but, I cannot be perfect, and I didn't want to lie that I could. OW could promise him perfection, and he decided to choose perfection.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
