Is XH a gentle person? I know many gentle people around me. Gentle people do not go on rampages no matter how provoked they are. Of course they do get angry, who doesn't? But there is a fine line between angry and snapping.
Am I a gentle person? I have my temper too. But I know that however much the other person has been an arse, the onus is still on me to control my emotions.
That is not saying that XH is a bad person. He is not. Which is why even after the humiliation from the rampage, and from being compared to a prostitute in front of the OW, I was still considering R. My friends and family couldn't understand my decision and my efforts because they saw how much pain I was going through and how close I came to crumbling.
Despite all the hurt that I went through and am still going through, I realised that I would have hurt him as well, even if unintentionally.
He was the one who didn't hesitate cutting off Kid off from his life. He would rather have other people's kids than to have his own kid. Granted I would have caused him immense hurt, but what have our kid done to him?
XH and I, we are both flawed people. Maybe that was why i was drawn to him. I recognised this ache, this hole in him, and I wanted to help him. We have a lot of issues with our own families and with ourselves. But what Michele says is true, one can analyse the issues to death, but that will never help you move forward. You really just have to do it.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
