I agree she wants some space to breath and be happy, take away the tension.
3/4 BDs and 2 reconcilations to an extent - I was too short sighted after each reconciliation. The first one took 6 months and we were both high with a new honeymoon period but we didnt sort out our intimacy problems and lack of sex - sex was still boring for her and she withdrew over time. I buried my head in the sand .
In her eyes she tried to turn things around in the bedroom, new sexy underwear, buying sex toys, talking about mild bondage, asking for me to initiate sex, telling me she wanted sex outside the bedroom to make it exciting. She even changed contraception so I didn't need to use condoms and sex would be more spontaneous and passionate. She asked me to get a vasectomy but a just delayed and delayed it till she gave up asking!.Her primary Love language is physical touch so to her it was a big deal. I feel a great deal of shame and guilt that I have been so poor in giving her the love she wanted.
In other ways I have been very loving and she recognises it: gifts, words of affirmation, 'you look great in that dress' etc. also acts of service, I do a lot of housework and make her packed lunch for the next day and things like that.
Quality time has been poor and definately affected our intimacy but I used it as an excuse not to address her need for spontaneous, exciting, unplanned sex. 'We dont get Quality time'
Last night I said I had a Plan to improve our sex lives, to her it sounded awful, a plan for sex!...exactly the opposite of what she wants!
Last edited by isittoolate; 10/13/1509:47 AM.
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
