Zues, I can feel your pain at your WAW. I understand, I really do. Despite the fact that I was the one who initiated the divorce, I was also the one who tried to give the M a second chance again. He was the one who didn't want to. In the end, I am the LBS, just like you.
I have never talked about this before, because it cuts to the core. XH demanded that I went ahead with the D or he would cut Kid out of his life. I was the one who pleaded with him to let Kid attend his mum's Birthday Party because Kid was looking forward to. I contacted his family even though I knew they were angry with me, because damn it, Kid wanted to feel like she still had a family, even if daddy was mad with mummy. And damn it again, I was not going to let her feel otherwise, even if I had to put my pride down.
XH used Kid against me. He threw me crumbs, ML to me, and then changed his mind about R. In the end, I granted him the divorce, just so that he can be with OW, and just so that Kid would have a father figure in her life. It may not make sense to you, but I would rather hurt myself than to have Kid lose a father. Who in the right mind would hand her spouse to the OW on a silver platter? But that was what I did, just so that I didn't have to drag Kid through an acrimonius divorce.
His L asked for supervised access once every two weeks. I didn't limit his access once I saw that he had calmed down. Since I wasn't going to stop him from getting together with the other woman, there was no reason why he would get mad with Kid.
I have never demanded that he changed. I knew who he was when I married. All that I have ever asked for what to change the way we communicated. I never said that I was perfect, and I didn't expect him to be.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
