Thank you, Cadet! That was what I needed. I was dithering because I was waiting for validation that what I was doing was correct. But I realised that no one else can make that decision for me.

I will now make the decision that I will move on and not be bitter. I have to show my kid that I am strong, that I do not have to bend over backwards to accommodate those who are hurting me. I have to show kid that one must have healthy boundaries in life.

Time is on my side and I will use it to help me heal.

And you are really spot-on with the analogy of a wounded animal thrashing about in pain. That is what XH reminds me of, and I really do feel sorry for him. When I don't feel the urge to icepick him, that is. He does what he does, and there really is no stopping him. Futile and a waste of energy, and it only ends up hurting me further.

You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.