Zues, I too am old school. My dad was very soft-spoken. But I had years of coaches who whipped my ass into shape as quickly and as roughly as they had to to get me to produce the results they wanted. Personally, I loved it and always thrive in that environment, and I don't have a problem being tough on young men.
I don't think anyone's saying if things get a little bumpy then divorce is ok. But a man who acts in a threatening and unpredictable, destabilizing manner towards his wife and infant child also has to have some boundaries set for him since he is unwilling or not strong enough to set them for himself.
In such cases, I think separating with the W telling the H that she loves him and is not leaving him, but will not take any risk to be with him until he puts some better tools in his toolbox and demonstrates that he will use them.
Very well spoken, and I don't take issue with much of this. Ask Sunny, I tend to be very polarized.
The question is "what if the man never changes?" Does that separation become a divorce at that point?
I always ask what I would do if the other person never changed. Because we can't control them. Again, we all have our own interpretation of what 'destabilizing' means. And we all place a value on marriage. I guess I just feel divorce is more destabilizing than an unstable H.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
