LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M

[gs9]

I'm probably grasping at straws and we've had very little contact over the last 2 days but in both instances I made sure to be cheerful, she didn't make eye contact and seems down. Hopefully, she's second guessing her WW ways and the D.

You are definitely grasping. Unless you're a mind reader, you have no idea what WW is thinking, and if you try and guess, you're going to be wrong most of the time. Not making eye contact could be for any of a hundred reasons, Maybe she's feeling guilty or remorseful, but just as likely she's thinking about everything she has to do after she leaves, thinking about OM, maybe thinking you disgust her. There's no telling and it's a pointless exercise to waste any time on it.

Acting calm and happy is the right approach, but women also seem to have a 6th sense to detect how you truly feel about something, especially your WW, who knows you better than anyone. I'm sure she is picking up on vibes that you are not truly detached but hanging on her every word and action, and it's giving her ego kibbles, which you do not want to be dispensing at this point.

I know how hard it is, but you need to try and truly detach from WW, and not spend time thinking about her, not letting her actions or thoughts have any impact on your emotions. Best way to do this is GAL activities, spending time with friends and family, doing things you enjoy. There is a life w/o WW and when you embrace that, you will start to feel a sense of relief and freedom and quit worrying about what WW does or does not think about how you are doing. At that point, she will sense it and that will cause her to start evaluating what she wants and what she is willing to lose.

I definitely want to cause her to sense I'm gone w/out completely closing the door on R. I'm doing GALing at least twice a week. I'm going to the gym 4-5 nights a week right after work. I'm not initiating conversations most of the time. I had to tonight. Part of mediation agreement gave me the option to move out and she had to go to IC at least 2x month. I had til the 20th to make a decision about moving out. I told her tonight the IC was manipulative of me and I don't care if she goes to IC or not. It's not helpful if she doesn't want to go. I also told her I would not be moving out. She then began name calling. I walked away. I got my headphones. I went back and told her " I do not speak you this way and I will not be spoken to like this." She said "you're a whore and that's why we're getting a divorce." I said "you're a whore" and put my headphones back in. She continued name calling but I couldn't really hear her. Wish I wouldn't have said that. Oh well. Was thinking I should apologize but then decided that would be pursuing. She can stew on the fact that I'm taking anymore of her BS and not apologizing right away. Going to probably need the headphones some more tonight