I was so focused on the negative earlier, I forgot to report the interesting question I was asked by H.
He asked where I was, and after I told him, he asked (with the strangest tone of voice) if I'd gone out to be with someone else. I replied, of course not!
I don't know if he was relieved or sad because I'm still loyal. I can tell you though...the idea really bothered him. I think it might be the first time he realized I might not just be content to sit around and let him deposit poop all over me without taking action.
I've been devouring DR again today. Every time I read it, something new pops out at me! I should just read it daily...lol
I was wise to remove myself until emotions settled down. Apparently, I asked H last night where my dad's handgun was at. I know that was depression talking, but I hate that it happened, since it's one of his biggest challenges with me.
He thought I was going to shoot him with it! I told him, no, I would never hurt him. We dropped it after that. These emotional shocks keep knocking me off-kilter! I long to have more control over that, or a more understanding spouse. Maybe one day...
I am not ready to give up. After reading through the stages of relationships, I want to get to level 5!!! At this moment, I care about me, my family, H, and not going down the Divorce trap. Getting ready to do some very specific goal-setting.
