She Wants Me to Leave....3rd Time in 4 Years

[isittoolate]

UPDATE: CRISIS TIME!!!

Tonight we had an R talk even before I had a chance to post the above.

W laid it on the line that we should separate and I needed to move out. She wants a Divorce.

We had a long talk with just a little emotion – no raised voices/arguments just some emotion. She never even cried.
She stated how she hadn’t loved me for years and had only reconciled previously to give Us one last chance and for the ‘sake of the children’ and how she needs to be happy. She has spent years making everyone else (me and the kids) happy at the expense of her own happiness and it was time to end it. She wants to be happy and not with me.

She acknowledged that I had changed for the better for the last 4 years and had Got a Life and was a more rounded individual but that didn’t change how she felt about me – She doesn’t love me and hasn’t for a long time.

I tried to argue/reason that things were much better over the last 4 years but we had never addressed the fundamental problems of a sex starved marriage. She insisted it was too late, she Loved me but was not in Love with me, and definitely did not want to have sex with me.

We talked about counselling (she was surprised that I had been to see a counsellor this last 2 weeks). She said it wouldn’t help. Love was long gone. She didn’t want to have sex with me. I said counselling would not help unless we both wanted it.
She said how she felt happy that I had confronted our sitch last week and for the first time in a long time she was happy. (A few days of release) Then at the weekend she had come crashing down and the situation with me in the spare room was making her more unhappy and it couldn’t continue.

I asked for one last chance (I know it was pleading but I had no choice) I asked for 6 weeks and her to be open about counselling and for us to go to counselling either together or separate.

She said I couldn’t just go and google fix marriage problems and it would be all fixed.She knows I have read some self-help books

I talked about how our marriage was sex starved and and had been for years and it was my mainly my fault. She said some of the blame was hers and I shouldn’t just blame myself.

Eventually we were both emotionally drained and couldn’t talk anymore, we finished a few chores, put the kids to bed and ended the evening talking a little (Not about R) and watching The Walking Dead which sums up how I feel.

Please help! I am utterly heartbroken and utterly drained.