Alligator Love

[Zues126]

Just received an email from my mother. Her partner of 10+ years has been cheating on her for an ongoing period. She has ended the relationship and is now trying to figure out if she should tell the other betrayed partner. She is asking my opinion because she knows I have been living through this and have been posting and reading lots of situations like this. Also I'm not sure who else she can turn to at the moment.

Apparently the OW is 30 years younger than my mom and her former partner, has 3 young children, and this lady's husband is in a high risk industry. My mom's now XBF has been with her living and watching what I've been through with the destruction of my family as a result of my STBX's choices. Yet XBF and this deluded femail are now "in love". My mom is sick with her own pain, and even more sick knowing the destruction that may come to this family, this poor man, and these innocent and unsuspecting people.

What the heck is wrong with people? This crap almost makes me regret bringing children into this world. I hate this so much, and am so sick that it's considered ok by society. Oh, wait, no, cheating isn't ok, but divorce is, especially if there was a reason, let's go with 'emotional abuse' and 'neglect', and since she knew in her heart she was leaving then it wasn't really cheating, and since her H had problems this is all ok. I'm so disgusted this is how it works now. I know, I know, cheating has been around forever. But it's the acceptance and normalization of it that to me is just as disgusting.

My mom is getting to be in her old age, her reality on this planet is now that she may grow old on her own, without anyone there with her, or maybe someone she meets that's in a similar predicament and willing to hold her hand for a while. I know everyone loves their mom but she is truly a beautiful woman inside and out, has never done anything like this to anyone, and I am so upset that she would be treated this way. I am just now realizing that no one might even know anymore how wonderful she is because she's on her own. You really don't know how amazing my mother really is.

I'm all over because I've been breaking up as I type this. My head is pounding. I wish I could do something to stop the pain to someone so special to me but I'm as helpless as all of you are. It's just not right.

OK, I'll wrap up for now. Personally I am of the camp of telling the other party. This isn't from a "DB" philosophy, but she has no interest in R at this time. This isn't about 'how could this impact chances of R' or 'how could I be perceived'. This is "What is the right thing to do". I would want to know if I were that man. Would I tell him? Yes. Because I won't enable this type of horror and help shield these people from the consequence of their choices, or be a part of protecting their trysts so they can cause further damage. Pass on that. So I'm telling my mom my opinion, but also that it's a split camp and that it's really more about what she feels is right. Would she tell someone if she knew their wife had a gambling problem that they were hiding? I look at it the same way. It's not personal. It's not revenge. It's about brotherly love. Zues out. For now.