Can ALL marriages be saved Vol. 2

[Avanti]

Ahhh, finally a free moment to respond.

Avanti, thank you so much for taking the time to read my thread and advise me. It's much appreciated. And I like your blunt approach.

You asked what I'm using from the DR book, here's what I'm doing: I stopped the moping, begging etc and am now upbeat and happy when he's around. Things that would have made me nag before, I ignore. I'm exercising, I'm reading books about how to change certain habits and become the best version of myself that I can be. I'm keeping track of my budget and am being more conservative when it comes to spending money. I'm GAL'ing.

Great, keep it up, it's already starting to show.

...The main thing though, is that we haven't ever really been happy in our marriage, so he's not suddenly gonna remember "the good ol' times". We we're extremely happy up until we left our country (him first).

Are you sure? It can't have been that unhappy, are you certain you aren't simply thinking about the bad stuff because of your state of mind?

...We're very compatible, which makes it even more difficult to accept

So why do you say you've been so unhappy? This is something people strive for.

The woman he is in love with isn't just some floozy either. She sounds like a good woman and they seem to have a lot in common.

So what you are your husband are "so compatible" there's no comparison. She has her flaws too, she can't keep her marriage together...

What works against them is that she lives in a different state and has a couple of kids, so she can't really take off and leave. That means they can't see each other very often, which will probably just keep the relationship fun and fresh - less likely to tire of each other.

Or more time for them to doubt that what they are doing is the right thing

I find myself sometimes being grateful for this happening. I'm happy that I'm given an opportunity to become a better person, I don't want to be this little scared troll always hiding behind my H. I'm finally going to be more independent.

I know my thoughts can affect my reality, so I try to reign it in and be positive.

Great stuff, keep it up!

...I need to start meditating. If anyone has some good ideas on getting started, please let me know. I have plenty of books, audio books on the subject. It's more actually DOING it I'm struggling with, haha.

There is no magic to meditating it's all about doing it. Set aside the same time each day to do and make it become a habit. It's that simple yet hard, it simply takes some application.