T0 and Az, Thanks for checking in on me. Street walking cheetah indeed!
Things went fine tonight. I was all the things I wanted to be. I was calm, confident, and casual. I didn't initiate any R talk. Neither did STBX. We had fun and kept it pretty light.
On the ride home, I saw she got a text from OM.
At the end of the night, STBX told me she had fun, thanked me for coming out, and leaned over to give me a hug. I broke off the hug after a moment or two.
The D will be final on Tuesday.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
I think that says it all Defacto and that's as much as you can hope for. I guess STBX getting a text from OM was telling too and I imagine you wouldn't want to open up in those circumstances.
It sounds like (although you don't want to D) you are in a pretty good place generally and I have every confidence your life will go from good to great.
Take care my friend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
You sound like you're in a good place, D. I would advise you to not have anymore of these outings. Especially now that you know, whatever the circumstance may be, that she is still somewhat involved with OM.
I hope you will distance yourself from her but still maintain a good co parenting relationship. I'm not quite sure what that looks like entirely but I do still think your W has no fear of really losing you. My suggestion is to cut her off as anything more than a coparenting relationship.
Well def, glad that you were able to enjoy the night.
Your conviction towards your Dignity, self-respect and your heart is admirable. I've been reading all along, just not much to post what has already been said.
Thanks so much for following up on my sitch! Your support and confidence is invaluable.
This year has been devastating, to say the least. However, I am extremely proud of how I have conducted myself, allowed it to be an opportunity to grow, and most importantly, continued to be a great father to my children.
My next goal is to heal from this experience and apply what I've learned to my future relationships. Over time, I must forgive STBX so that I can move forward with my life.
I also agree that my relationship with XW going forward needs to be restricted to co-parenting only.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
No real comments - just saw the bolded as interesting.
AZ, Haha. Yeah, that's pretty revealing, right? Must be my subconscious slowly coming to realizations.
Originally Posted By: Azzork
Hope you got your friend's "friend's" number
I'm pretty sure I know what you are referring to here. Good memory!
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Through your growth, she is now the fool, which was the goal all along.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Well done Defacto, you're in a tough spot but making the absolute best of it. Healing gets to happen on your terms now which is a powerful statement to own.
Sending you strength.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Quick question. As I was hiking yesterday, I thought of sending XW an email once D was final.
Here is what I came up with:
XW, Thank you for the last decade. I will always look back fondly on the positive memories from our time together. And, I will always view our beautiful children as the physical manifestation of the goodness from our relationship. I have no doubt that we will work together to guide our children to adulthood. As we both navigate this new stage of our lives, I will respect your privacy and I humbly ask that you respect mine. I truly wish you happiness and fulfillment in all of your future endeavors. With care, Defacto
Thoughts? I'm not sure what purpose it serves other than provide closure. Maybe I just keep it to myself.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
