It wasn't a single moment but it was a specific period of time where I decided I just didn't want to be that guy anymore.
Amazingly, I had never acted that way with anyone else. In the past, if someone hurt me, I just took it, processed it, and moved on.
They say the first step in solving a problem is admitting you have one. I had to first admit that my W had done some wrongs, that I wasn't wrong to feel the way I did about it, but that only I was wrong in the way I chose to respond. And I had to acknowledge that I was indeed making a CHOICE about how to respond.
Once I got to that point, change was a little easier...still challenging, but now I had clarity and strong motivation, knew what to do...but it was a long time getting to that point.
When you're drunk on anger, you stop thinking and acting rationally and simply react to pleasure/pain...mainly pain. Not much better than an animal, and certainly not fully human.
