No kids this weekend and because XW and OM1 have a long weekend away planned next weekend I've end up with another stint of not seeing the kids for over a week. So very much looking forward to it.
Managed to speak to them briefly last night but my little girl got upset that she missed me so XW ended the call to stop D getting more upset.
Having said that I've been very busy with a mix of work, leisure and social GAL. Including a nice bike ride in the sunshine. So apart from the RWC its been pretty good.
Back to previous topics. Yes the V2 of the paperwork is final but I still get to do my own submission which will sit along side. Right now I wanted it done and over with, with minimal legal bills.
The text was for me not her, I think I even said that I don't expect anything I say to make the slightest difference. I do understand the keep quiet front and I know I shouldn't have sent it (to be honest had I not accidentally pressed send half way through I probably wouldn't have - there's a valuable lesson in that). At the same time its things I wanted to say for me.
Whilst I'm accepting of my situation and can even see how I'm better off in a lot of ways, I struggle with a sense of injustice which I know I need to move beyond. She has got everything her way and yet still won't accept any responsibility or even recognise the hurt she caused me and the kids (or even admit that she has done anything less than perfect). Not in front of me anyway.
I think the other part is that I did more than enough wrong in the relationship to cite in the divorce paperwork (given how low the bar is) without her needing to make stuff up, some of which is just offensive to me - and I mean properly offensive to me and the kind of person I think I am. I can be pretty negative about myself at times (which are getting far fewer by the way) so that in itself says something.
So its a sense of injustice about it all that hinders that last bit of detachment.
But despite it all I'm doing good
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
