And it was angry/ violent outburst number 2. This time, it lasted at least 2 hours, and all the neighbours were outside the house, worried about my safety. I knew that if I had given the slightest indication of fear or alarm, the police would have been called. To say that my kid and I were terrified would have been to make the understatement of the year. I still get sick to my stomach when I think of my kid cowering behind the door, too scared to even close the door to the room.
Girlonf, this concerns me a great deal. I probably would be asking for a restraining order instead of trying to reconcile. You say that outburst #2, was far more violent than outburst #1. What happens with #3? Please be very careful, for the sake of yourself, and most importantly, for the sake of your child. Your child's safety is more important than your M. Your H has a lot of work to do, and it has nothing to do with you. So continue with your path, fix what needs to be fixed in you, but realize that you can't fix your H, he has to do that.
Thanks SunnyB for your input. Yes, I have put in place one. Which was what made XH and his family so made with me. XH is still very mad with me over this and tells me that the sight of me reminds him of his outbursts.
I agree with you that my kid's safety is more important than my marriage, and I do approach reconciliation with caution. XH is undergoing mandatory counselling. I am willing to consider reconciliation as the outbursts are not frequent- 2 in 10 years. And I realise that they are the result of our SSM and XH's tendency to bottle up his feelings.
And he says that he bottles up his feelings because he is wary of my critical reactions. He doesn't like it when I don't look happy and when I argue with him without letting him say when he has to say. I also have to admit that I have one hell of a Biatchy Resting Face as he is not the only one to tell me that. We have a lot of work to do if we ever want to get back together again.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
