Also wanted to add: I think it's best I don't see stbxmil right now. I have a cold, and on top of that I am approaching the two year BD anniversary. I haven't seen or spoken to MIL in several months and I'm not sure I could do it with out getting emotional. But if she wanted to continue to have a relationship with me, she would. She loved me, she has always been very warm to me. And now she's vanished. Which I can understand... but I can only put some boundaries on myself right now.
Could be the wrong call, or at least not the bravest or strongest call, but it's what I feel I need right now. And that's ok.
Thanks for everyone's input. I appreciate it a lot.
