D - please don't take this the wrong way, but don't give much credit to what your W says to your son right now. She might just be trying to make him feel better. Unless she says something to you, it's best to not get your hopes up.
I agree she is really sending mixed messages. Until she gets her head on straight it's best to not worry about her and continue the awesome work you are doing on yourself. She sounds like she is really confused.
Remember, human nature is such that people enjoy the pursuit. If you are somewhat aloof, she's going to start feeling the loss. She needs to "win" you back. You want a better R, and she needs to appreciate what she had. Don't you dare make this too easy on her! I know you miss your old life, but holding out for better Will help ensure you don't wind up back in the same place in a few more years. (Talking to myself right now, too!)
You're doing so much better than you think you are. She obviously has no idea what she wants. Let her figure it out, while you continue on the "make D the best he can be" path.
