Classic, your H does not sound like he's ready to completely give up. Don't change anything right now except you. He's struggling with his choice. Work on yourself and give him reason to hope!
Yes, look as nice as you can. It's great for your self-esteem. You've really had some struggles, and right now...let it be about you. You are in no position to make any decisions about your future. Your H is giving you time...take him up on it, and do what you need to do. Until you address your issues (remember, I struggle with similar challenges) your R will not have a fighting chance. You need to be in a good place mentally and emotionally, and it will take some work to get there.
You are so lucky your H obviously still cares for you. My issues with depression have all but killed my M. I'm working on it, but it takes time to rebuild trust. My situation is a bit different, but I can understand the toll depression takes on a marriage, particularly if it is untreated and leads to really bad decisions.
You're in a better place than you realize. Give yourself permission to take a time-out on working on your M and use that time to address YOU. You will never regret it. Your entire life will change for the better, that includes parenting, relationships, and how you feel about yourself.
Please forgive yourself, too. You're doing what you need to get a handle on your life now. Let the old stuff go and focus on the future. You can only go forward.
