Just wanted to say I've been reading up on your sitch. I think that overall you are doing a great job in a very tough spot. I've been in a similar spot before with my wife behaving the same way...maybe worse...but neither of us moved out at that time.
I'm back in that hole again. My W moved out a week ago and said she intends to file for D in Dec or Jan, so reading about what you've been doing--and particularly the progress you've made in working on yourself and your own life--is highly inspirational to me. Thank you very much for sharing what's been going on.
D - please don't take this the wrong way, but don't give much credit to what your W says to your son right now. She might just be trying to make him feel better. Unless she says something to you, it's best to not get your hopes up.
I agree she is really sending mixed messages. Until she gets her head on straight it's best to not worry about her and continue the awesome work you are doing on yourself. She sounds like she is really confused.
Remember, human nature is such that people enjoy the pursuit. If you are somewhat aloof, she's going to start feeling the loss. She needs to "win" you back. You want a better R, and she needs to appreciate what she had. Don't you dare make this too easy on her! I know you miss your old life, but holding out for better Will help ensure you don't wind up back in the same place in a few more years. (Talking to myself right now, too!)
You're doing so much better than you think you are. She obviously has no idea what she wants. Let her figure it out, while you continue on the "make D the best he can be" path.
Thanks to both of you. I don't feel like I have made much progress, until I can look back at how long I can go without crying now. Used to count that in minutes, now it's days and almost a week at a time. Kids are constantly asking when I will be home. S6 has a bday next month. Not looking forward to it right now, if this doesn't change. tl2, as to sharing, it helps as much to journal and get it out as much as the advice. Feels cathartic sometimes. Of course the advice is golden too! Ancaire, thank you for the support as always! You are awesome, never forget it!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I know what you mean. Tonight my younger son is coming over to grill brats and watch the season opener of the walking dead...he's a lot like me so I'm grateful for his company and also the opportunity he gives me to advise him, as he actually asks me for advice sometimes (doesn't always follow it though, haha). I'm frankly happy to be alive having had a couple health scares a few years back, and I'm happy that I am finally able to appreciate the really good things and to be able to demonstrate my appreciation to the people I love.
Went to cookout at s6 best friends house. It's a small town, so all the parents know that W and I are seperated. Nobody brought it up, which was nice. I actually went an hour or so at a time without thinking of the sitch. That's a first. Played football, tag after dark, and told ghost stories with the kids. Everyone had a good time. Kids are exhausted.
Miss my W, but I got by a lot better tonight. Might help me out that all the parents saw me having a good time without her. It felt good either way. A little unexpected GAL never hurts!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
All 3 boys had a blast. S8 even had a couple 10 year old girls flirting with him. I am not ready for that! It was cute seeing him get embarassed. Good night for all 4 of us
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
