Today I am in a pensive mood. One that stems from the realization that she is still having these flirtatious conversations. I just keep on thinking on the fact that she seems to be moving on, and the fact that she has shut me out of her life. It is incredible how one moment this could be the person who knows everything about you, and the next acting as if we are strangers...
I am leaning towards continuing to keep my distance, and our interactions short but cordial, civil, and friendly. I need to stop being so available to her, I mean how can I just be ok with her flirting around as if I didn't matter? The birthday thing is also playing in my mind, how do you opt to want to spend your bday with strangers as opposed to those that love you?
So my mood is that of detachment, I am hurt, so it brings me back into reality that I still have work to do on this front. Moving forward, that's my themed for today. Listened to Joel Osteen on his sermon about moving forward. I am not giving up on my M, at least not at this moment, my heart is not into it but I am moving forward and opened to whatever life brings my way, I am not ok with her actions but I am going to try and not judge them.
PMA for today
Quote of the day:
“My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing beauty of life once more. It's happened before, it will happen again, I'm sure. When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arrive--I'll find love again.” - Paulo Coelho, The Zahir
a note about the quote, I find it fitting not because I am hoping to start a new R with someone else, but more so because it could be applied in our situations. We want to start a new relationship with a better version of ourselves and our spouses. So we will work through our hurt, bruises, and scars. We will focus on become better versions of ourselves and then hopefully we will have the chance to work on a much better marriage.
