At that point in time, I hadn't read any of the self-help books yet. But like what's written in one of them, this need to have the OW totally out of our lives is instinctive. I knew that there was no way our marriage could heal as long as she was in the picture.

I told him that it was either that or he would have to give me access to his phone, and he would also have access to mine.

This got him angry and he wasn't happy that I was talking terms with him. To him, I should be dying from happiness that he was even willing to consider salvaging the marriage.

I asked him what he would do if she approached him again. He said that he would tell me. When I probed what would happen if he found that he couldn't let go of his feelings for her, he said that I could then apply for divorce against him using adultery as a reason.

I was devastated. On hindsight, I realise that he wasn't and probably still isn't ready to let go of the OW and start on working on the marriage.

You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.