In the months leading up to the divorce, there were lots of false hopes. I suggested reconciliation again, and he said that he would consider. And then he said that he would take his chances with the OW because she made him feel good and feel like a man.
I then did all the things that I wasn't supposed to. I pleaded, I cried, I pointed out all the good things in the marriage, I told him that I would change. I wrote him hundreds of emails and letters. I sang and recorded him songs. I basically had no pride left.
Just when I was going to let go of the marriage, he came back and asked me what I would do to reconcile. I was wary of getting my hopes up again but I decided to listen to what he had to say.
Basically, the talk was all about his terms. He told me more about the OW, about how his family had met the OW and loved her. They were angry with me and he told me that I would have to suck it up. He said he didn't want to be in a SSM anymore. And then he dropped the bomb again. He didn't want to drop the divorce.
I was angry, hurt and frankly speaking, quite humiliated. He was annoyed by my lack of enthusiasm. I told him to give me some time to think about it.
The next time we talked, I asked him more about what he was going to do with the OW. He said that he had told her about his decision. They would remain as good friends. And that was when something snapped in me. I told him that he would have to cut off all contact with the OW, that one couldn't and didn't sleep with good friends. If he didn't want to cut off contact with her, then I would have to have access to his phone.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
