Hi Lou, I'm glad you guys had a good weekend. It certainly sounds as though it went as well as it could have done, and you have broken the ice now in a good way.

I would still think it is an idea to keep things pretty light and make contact sometimes - not always wait for him to initiate. Equally, I would keep investing in your own life and making plans just as you have been.

As for longer term plans and living a ways apart. I wouldn't even 'go there' at this point. Your former R ended in a cataclysmic way, you are just starting to reconnect, which is great. But neither of you need the pressure of - where will we live? - at this point. Best to keep your focus on the new R that you may build together.

Also, as for possibly being intimate next time. Again, I think if you can have a mindset of - it may happen and it may not - that will be best. He or you may or may not feel like doing that next time and that is okay. Again, the less pressure the better I think.

I think things are heading in a good direction. But there are two things to bear in mind. One is ongoing contact with ex OW, even if just about practical issues. The other is possible ongoing crisis issues. For both of those reasons, I would keep your expectations at a low level. For now, you are just reconnecting and rebuilding a friendship towards possible R. Neither of you need to be 'all in' right now - there is plenty of time for that.

Glad you had a nice time my friend xx

Last edited by Sotto; 10/11/15 11:53 AM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus