I have been divorced for two months now. To cut a long story short, in the 10 years that we have been together, H and I always had communication issues.

He was a totally different person when we first started dating. He was completely into me and we saw each other every day for almost two years. We saw flashes of each other's tempers and ugly sides but it was only after we were preparing to get married and after we got married, that cr@p started to hit the ceiling fan.

His first angry outburst took place when our child was 1 and started over a seemingly trivial incident. He threw things around the house, screamed at the top of his voice and basically frightened my kid and me. He basically just snapped and went berserk.

The day after his outburst, when he was not in, I quickly packed some belongings and fled to a friend's house with my kid. We had a family conference with both sides of the family, and eventually decided to move back into the house. It was tough the first few months as he was angry at my flight and would blast me every time I cringed when he was near me. Till this day, I never understood why he snapped.

Eventually, I managed to put his first outburst behind me. What I couldn't get over was how emotionally detached he had become. Every inconvenience in life was because of me. He didn't like it when I bothered him with decisions and he also didn't like it when I didn't ask him for his opinions. When I was facing personal crises, I was often left to my own devices. I had to deal with a lot of things on my own and I always felt like a single parent.

Ours became a SSM. I was bitter that he only seemed to be interested in my body and had less and less desire to be physical with him. The meds I was taking to help me sleep through the night did not help with my libido.

I went through a sort of MLC in my early thirties when I saw that I was trapped in a very unhappy marriage. I never had an affair, physical or emotional; I just started feeling very unfulfilled and disappointed by how my life had turned out. And I guess the action in the bedroom just totally dried up.

You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.