Newbie here - unsure of what to do

[lovethehub]

Klassic,

You definitely need to focus on yourself and getting to the healthiest place you can be and you need to do it for YOU. It may help you to reconcile your M but right now YOU are the priority. If you really have no complaints about the M or your H but you continue to seek happiness elsewhere it is either because of your OCD/Alcoholism/depression/past traumas or because there really is something missing in the M for you. Being great doesn't mean they are meeting your most important needs. However, there is a good chance it is from other issues. Either way, you need to address them so you can be the healthiest, happiest you regardless of your M. Once you start working on you, you can think about restoring your M...and many times, taking that step to work on yourself makes the spouse take notice and they aren't so quick to give up. Honestly, I would tell him you realize you need to work on yourself, tell him exactly what you have figured out and need to do (that helpedmy M a lot, explain your plan to get help and be a better you and that you hope he sticks with the M while you do this. And be honest with yourself about him. Maybe he is perfect, I don't know, but if he is contributing to the downfall of your M you need to recognize how and deal with that at some point.